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The Beatles Decca Audition – Part 1

The Beatles at the Cavern
The Beatles at the Cavern Club
The Beatles at the Cavern Club

The Beatles Decca Audition

One of the most contentious moments in Beatles history happened on 1st January 1962, when John, Paul, George and Pete were driven south by Neil Aspinall for their audition at Decca Records.

Groups With Guitars Are On The Way Out?

Were guitar groups really on the way out as Decca producer and executive Dick Rowe supposedly told Brian Epstein? Was that why they failed the Decca Audition? Mike Smith had raved about The Beatles when he visited the Cavern just a couple of weeks earlier, so why would Rowe not like their sound? “When Mike came back,” said Rowe, “I said, ‘Well, what are they like?’ I wasn’t excited, but I was very interested because there was a lot of underground talk about them. Mike said, ‘Oh, they’re great!’ I said, ‘Well, you better bring them down and give them an audition.” (The Beatles: Oral History) 

Finding the Fourth Beatle

In Finding the Fourth Beatle, we decided to analyse the Decca audition in more detail than had been done before. There are so many subjective comments and biases that come through, that we felt we couldn’t just offer another author’s opinion on Pete Best, who seems to get a lot of blame. Was he responsible? Was he a crap drummer as some people think? So, we asked three drummers, of different generations, to listen to the Decca audition and give us their objective opinions on Pete’s drumming. It was very revealing!

The Tremeloes

Surely, if they were a three-part harmony, guitar-based group like Brian Poole and The Tremeloes. The sound was comparable, so was it simply a case of the two bands being too similar? On the surface, the answer is yes. However, when you dig a bit deeper, you can see why Dick Rowe didn’t sign The Beatles which, thankfully, meant that they were paired with George Martin and not Rowe.

So why has Dick Rowe been blamed for turning down The Beatles? Is the criticism justified? Was it simply a north-south divide problem? Was he biased against Liverpool artists? History shows that Rowe was responsible for the first no. 1 record by a Liverpool artist, even if it was “(How Much Is That) Doggie In The Window” by Lita Roza in March 1953. He also recorded “Halfway To Paradise” and “Jealousy”, two hits by Merseyside’s first rock ‘n’ roll star Billy Fury. The handsome singer-songwriter hailed from Liverpool, so wouldn’t that work in The Beatles’ favour?

So what was it? Did Dick Rowe make the decision, or did The Beatles make the decision for Dick Rowe? Put yourself in Rowe’s place; whom would you have signed? As you will see, it wasn’t a straight comparison between the two groups after all.

1st January 1962: Crying, Waiting, Hoping – The Story of The Audition

Let’s examine The Beatles’ Decca audition in more detail, song-by-song. Bear in mind that they performed these fifteen numbers in less than an hour, probably getting only one shot at each. Mike Smith has said that he expected them to reproduce the great performance he’d seen at the Cavern, and encouraged them to “play the whole spectrum of music” he’d heard.

Even though the songs were regularly performed in their act, they weren’t really representative of The Beatles’ sound. Brian was keen to demonstrate their wide range of talents, both individually and as a group, and to show their musical versatility. In hindsight, it was probably a mistake. But Brian didn’t impose the songs on them.

George and Paul

As George recalled: “In those days a lot of the rock ‘n’ roll songs were actually old tunes from the ‘40s, ‘50s or whenever, which people had rocked up. That was the thing to do if you didn’t have a tune; just rock up an oldie. Joe Brown had recorded a rock ‘n’ roll version of ‘The Sheik of Araby’. He was really popular on the Saturday TV show Six-Five Special and Oh Boy! I did the Joe Brown records, so I did ‘Sheik of Araby’. Paul sang ‘September in the Rain’. We each chose a number we wanted to do.” (Anthology) 

Pete thought that, in hindsight, they shouldn’t have allowed Brian to have as much say in the songs they performed: “It was a strange dish to set before the recording kings, with the emphasis on standards which, I remember, was mainly at Brian’s insistence. Really, we were doing little that was different.” (Beatle! The Pete Best Story) John later said that the group “should have rocked like mad in there and shown what we’re like when we’re roused.” (The Beatles: The Biography, Spitz) 

The Audition

Morning arrived all too soon – but not that early, as Brian Epstein noted: “At 11 am…we arrived at Decca in a thin bleak wind, with snow and ice afoot,” he said rather poetically, carefully omitting the detail. (Cellarful of Noise) 

Pete recalled Brian’s wrath after he’d warned them about staying out past ten: “When we got to the Decca studios the next day, we were late. Seems to be our history, being late, and Brian of course, was there before us. He was absolutely livid. He tore a strip off us left, right and centre. John just basically turned round and said, ‘Brian, shut up. We’re here for the audition, right.’” (Beatles at The BBC 2012)

Use Our Own Amps?

For some unexplained reason, The Beatles had taken their own amplifiers, as if they were turning up for a live gig. That was the first problem. Their cheap amps may have been passable for performing in clubs, but the hum the amplifiers emitted in the recording studio was an issue. When the hum proved far too audible to the sound engineers, they had to be changed for Decca’s own studio amps. “They didn’t want our tackle,” said Neil. “We had to use theirs. We needn’t have dragged our amps all the way from Liverpool.” (The Beatles. Hunter Davies) 

True! This clearly shows how ill-prepared and ill-informed they had been. Adding more headaches to their groggy condition, they also had to cope with a huge, open, icy-cold studio. Decca had been closed for the Christmas period and, consequently, there was little or no room heat.

The boys were accustomed to close interaction in their live performances, but the recording studio was quite another story. The unfamiliar layout meant they could not communicate in the usual way. To avoid sound bleeding into other microphones from the drums, Pete was situated behind a studio ‘baffle’, an isolation screen. This made direct eye contact with the others almost impossible for Pete as all four struggled to keep cue off each other.

Recording Separation

Don Dorsey, an engineer who has worked at Abbey Road, explained why this would be a problem: “A recording studio environment is quite different to a live environment. In a live hall, all band members are relatively close together and all their sound output mixes in the environment – the drummer hears everything. In a recording studio, it would be customary for the drummer to be separated from the rest of the band with a large wall-like sound baffle. The purpose of baffles is to keep sounds from one player intruding too much into the microphones of the others. As a result, to hear other band members well, headphones must be used and the sound would be nothing like a live appearance.” (Liddypool DB 2007)

The physical separation was new to The Beatles; the setup at the Hamburg recording sessions had been completely different. They also noticed for perhaps the first time the vast difference between playing to a control booth and performing in front of a live audience. As the top group in Liverpool and Hamburg, they had learnt to “mach shau” – to “work” the audience. This time around, the chance to recreate the magic of the Cavern, which Mike Smith had enjoyed so much, was impossible. On top of everything else, they had a classic case of audition nerves which affected their delivery of even the most familiar songs. No assessment of the Decca audition can be done without taking into consideration all these factors, both external and internal.

Seeing Red – Songs in the Key of Fraught Nerves and Temper Tantrums

Tensions had simmered from the moment The Beatles arrived, gathering even more momentum when the ever-punctual Brian became angered by the late arrival of the Decca staff. Culprit-in-chief was Mike Smith who, like the four lads, was also hung over from the night before. Brian took it personally. “Mike Smith was late and we were pretty annoyed about the delay. Not only because we were anxious to tape some songs but because we felt we were being treated as people who didn’t matter.” (Cellarful of Noise) Here, Epstein reveals his inner insecurity by letting slip his overblown sense of grievance about being treated as someone of importance.

In reality, The Beatles were no doubt relieved that they weren’t the only ones to arrive late, or the only ones to rattle Epstein’s code of behaviour. Dick Rowe avoided the flack this time. The man responsible for the final decision wasn’t at the session. That was left to Smith, who would report the feedback to Rowe later. In the meantime, with everyone finally in place, studio equipment was set up, levels were taken by the engineers in the control booth, and they were off. The scary red light came on, and in the silence and isolation of the Decca studio, the audition began.

Red Light Area

Although the use of the red light was customary to let everyone know that they were ready to record, it was a distraction. “They were pretty frightened,” said Neil. “Paul couldn’t sing one song. He was too nervous and his voice started cracking up. They were all worried about the red light. I asked if it could be put off, but we were told people might come in if it was off. ‘You what?’ we said. We didn’t know what all that meant.” (The Beatles. Hunter Davies) To add to the confusion, the group knew very little about all the microphones, booms and controls. The boys were truly in uncharted territory.

Part 2 here

Get your copy of the Finding the Fourth Beatle book and the Finding the Fourth Beatle double CD

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31st December 1961: NEIL ASPINALL DRIVES THE BEATLES TO LONDON FOR THEIR AUDITION AT DECCA RECORDS

The Beatles in Mathew Street
The Beatles in Mathew Street
The Beatles in Mathew Street, 1961

The Beatles Drive to Decca

December 31 – Sunday — New Year’s Eve.  An uncomfortable 10-hour road journey from Liverpool to London—the four Beatles sitting hunched alongside their guitars, drums, and amplifiers in the back of Neil Aspinall’s unheated van—the journey made all the worse by bitter cold and falling snow | As ever—Brian Epstein travels down to London by train.

 “OH, DIRTY MAGGIE MAE, they have taken her away and she won’t walk down snowy Lime Street anymore. Oh, the judge he…”

“Shurrup, John,” yelled Neil Aspinall. “I’m trying to concentrate up front, here. It’s like trying to see through a bloody blizzard, it is.”

“That’s because it is a blizzard, Neil,” yelled George Harrison. “It’s bloody f-f-freezin’ back here, it is. Isn’t there any more heat?”

“Just cuddle up and shurrup, will you. I’m doing me best.”

Oh, driver Nelly Mae, he has lost his bleedin’ way and he won’t get down to London, New Year’s Day…”

“Bloody shurrup, will yer, John. Or you drive,” Neil shouted.

“Is that with or without his glasses on?” asked Paul.

“Where the fook we going to fellas?” yelled John.

“To London, Johnny, for our audition with Decca.”

“Whose turn is it to lie on top?”

“Mine, you bugger. Shove over.”

“I’ll be glad when I’ve had enough of this.”

“Me and all. It’s all right for some, though, isn’t it? ‘Eppy’ went by train. Probably had his breakfast and dinner on it, too, lucky swine.”

“Want another one of me cheese butties, Johnny?”

“No, ta, George. It was good of yer mum to make them up for us. I’d have starved otherwise. Got a spare ciggy, have yer?”

“How long, now, Neil?” called out Pete.

“In all this snow, I don’t bloody know, but we’re just coming up to a place called Watford. So, an hour or two, maybe.”

“Ten bloody hours of freezin’ me bloody balls off. We better get a warm reception tomorrow or I’ll start a bloody revolution, I will.”

“I think I’d just settle for a hot of cup of tea, at the moment.”

“Strike us a match will yer, I want to warm me hands up before I have another look at the Christmas card ‘Eppy’ sent me.”

A Happy New Year?

John pulled a crumpled envelope out of his coat pocket and eased out the card. “There’s a bloody snow scene on this, as well. He must’ve known.” He read the card out aloud in a posh voice, not unlike Brian Epstein’s. “ ‘John’…hand-written in ink, mind you…‘With all Good Wishes for Christmas and the New Year’. Then, in brackets, ‘Especially January 1st. Brian Epstein, 197 Queens Drive, Liverpool 15’.” He paused. “It’s lovely, just like a poem by a man named Lear.”

“We all got one,” drawled George. “Mine’s still on the mantelpiece, at home.”

“Ah,” said John, “but I bet you didn’t get any kisses on yours.”

Discover more in Tony Broadbent’s excellent book, The One After 9:09

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The Turning Point for The Beatles

The Beatles in Hamburg
The Beatles in Hamburg
The Beatles in Hamburg

27th December 1960: Litherland Town Hall

Author Tony Broadbent takes a look at the defining moment in Beatles history.

The Beatles’ first 16-week stint in Hamburg, playing the Indra and Kaiserkeller clubs, all but ended in disaster. George Harrison was deported for being underage and not having a proper work permit. Paul McCartney and Pete Best were ordered to leave Germany immediately afterwards, on a trumped-up charge of arson; later rescinded. Stu Sutcliffe decided to stay on in Hamburg with his new girlfriend Astrid Kirchherr. And John Lennon travelled home, alone, by train and cross-Channel ferry; his guitar-case in one hand, his suitcase in the other, his amplifier strapped to his back.

Direct from Hamburg

For the first couple of weeks of December 1960, everyone kept to themselves and licked their wounds. Paul even got himself a temporary job as a delivery van driver to help with the Christmas rush. Then John resurfaced. The group played a couple of evenings at the Casbah Coffee Club, owned by Pete’s mum, Mona Best. The posters on the walls, hand-drawn by young accountancy student Neil Aspinall, the group’s new part-time roadie, proclaiming: ‘Direct from Hamburg’. But the momentum and drive The Beatles had built up as a group playing the Indra and Kaiserkeller had essentially stalled.

It was then that their booking agent-cum-manager Allan Williams, in another of his still relatively unsung all-important acts, given its later significance, introduced the group to 28-year-old Bob Wooler; itinerant disc jockey and compère extraordinaire. Wooler listened to The Beatles’ tales of recent woe; developed a liking for the young lads in the group; and offered to help get them some bookings. And he contacted promoter Brian Kelly, for whom he sometimes acted as compère, and for the agreed-to princely fee of £6; about $18 at the time, but still £2 short of what he’d originally asked for; set The Beatles up as last minute additions to Beekay Promotions’ ‘Post-Boxing-Day’ dance, scheduled to take place at the Litherland Town Hall ballroom, located some five miles north of Liverpool city-centre.

Chas Newby on Bass

The Beatles grasped hold of the opportunity with four sets of hands. But with Stu Sutcliffe still in Hamburg they still had to convince Chas Newby, then a college student, to fill-in on bass. (Chas had been the bass-player with Pete’s original Casbah Coffee Club band, The Blackjacks, before he’d suddenly disappeared off to Hamburg with The Beatles.) The Beatles all spent Christmas with their respective families; did a quick rehearsal with Mr. Newby; and on the evening of Tuesday, 27th December, 1960, donned their leather gear and got ready to rock ‘n’ roll.

Meanwhile, posters proclaiming The Del Renas, The Deltones, and The Searchers were already up, so Bob Wooler, ever the professional, was busy pasting overlays with ‘The Beatles Direct from Hamburg’ across as many of them as he could. It’s hardly surprising that many in the audience thought John, Paul, George, and Pete were German. Especially when they first saw them in their black leather jackets and trousers and cowboy boots. What they made of tweed-jacket wearing Chas Newby, filling in for the still absent Stu Sutcliffe, is anybody’s guess.

Long Tall Sally

But right from the start, when Paul nudged Bob Wooler off the microphone before he could even finish his mellifluous behind-the-stage-curtain introduction: “Ladies and Gentleman… direct from Hamburg… the Be…” and started belting out the opening words to Little Richard’s ‘Long Tall Sally’, The Beatles stunned the crowd. No one had ever seen or heard anything like it. The group’s hard rocking, hard-hitting, boot-stomping ‘Hamburg’ sound was so new, so raw, so loud, and so very, very different; it blew everyone and everything else away.

All the dancers in the ballroom; there were over a thousand people there that night; just stopped, turned, and rushed the stage to get closer to the action; again totally unprecedented. The Beatles’ nonstop set of rock ‘n’ roll and R&B classics was an absolute smash. It instantly established The Beatles as a top ‘live’ draw all around Merseyside. Brian Kelly immediately booked them for two months straight. And every other Liverpool promoter, worth his salt, scrambled to book the group to do more gigs. From this point on the group never really looked back; only ever forward, towards the future, and reaching ‘the toppermost of the poppermost’.

Top of the Bill

The Beatles played 19 dates for Brian Kelly and an ever- growing number of other local promoters in January 1961. They played 31 dates in February, including their first lunchtime sessions at the Cavern Club and appearances at the Cassanova Club. They did 37 dates in March; three bookings in a single day increasingly the norm; including the first ‘all-nighter’ at the Iron Door for Sam Leach and their first evening appearance at the Cavern. The Beatles played Litherland Town Hall for Beekay Promotions fully 19 times during 1961; although never again as last minute additions, only ever as ‘top of the bill’ headliners.

“Up to Hamburg we’d thought we were OK, but not good enough. It was only back in Liverpool that we realised the difference and saw what had happened to us while everyone else was playing Cliff Richard shit.” — John Lennon

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Beatles Binders

Beatles Binders
Beatles Binders

Beatles Binders

In the latest in the series, our Beatles memorabilia expert, Terry Crain, takes a look at Beatles Binders:

Every “paperback writer” could safely secure essential manuscripts and homework in the official Beatles Binder! Fans could now collect and save the lyrics and sheet music for their favorite Fab Four songs in one place! Students could carry notes about the band to school and daydream of the Fabs instead of the football team star!  

Standard Plastic Products (SPP), 450 Oak Tree Avenue, South Plainfield, New Jersey, received their merchandise license in late February of 1964 as a sub-licensee from the Belt Manufacturing Company of Canada. The agreement allowed them to produce the “early 1964 issue” binders featuring the Fab Four. Vinyl-coated and supported with pressboard, the binders were sold with either two or three snap-rings to anchor the paper (either 10½” x11¾” x1″ or 10½” x11¾” x1½” – advertised as 29cm x 24cm x 4cm). The advertisements for these binders started showing up around April 1964.

Book of Beatles Binders
Book of Beatles Binders

Paul McCartney Brandishing a Cigarette!

The “early 1964 binders” came in various colors – white, beige/tan, grey, blue, hot pink, purple, red, and yellow – with either slightly sharpened or rounded corners. The front cover exhibited a large, highly detailed, sepia-toned Beatles photo (the famous image by photographer Dezo Hoffmann) and scattered facsimile signatures. Interestingly, this early version of the binder featured Paul McCartney brandishing a cigarette in his right fingers. The contraband was “airbrushed out” of the subsequent binders, manufactured by New York Loose Leaf Corporation (labeled the ‘mid-1964 issue’).

“I carried my white one to school in 4th grade…until the principal sent around a note telling us that no binders were allowed. It was a Catholic school, so I guess they considered it too sexy. Years later, my mom laughed and said that I should thank them because it probably stayed in better shape since I didn’t lug it back and forth.” – Mary Jo Navarra McIntyre.

Newspaper advertisements for the binders – or “ringbinder” as some ads called them – really put the hard-sell on consumers:  

Advert for the Beatles Binders
Advert for the Beatles Binders

“Famous Beatles Binder…2 or 3 ring binder with photo of The Beatles on cover” priced the item for $1.29, but for “this weekend-64¢!” 

Another ad announced:

“The Beatles are here! The Beatle Loose Leaf binder. Beatle Binder Set. 3 Heavy Duty Metal Rings With Metal Base And Boosters. Consists of sturdy Loose Leaf binder, spiral notebook and memo pad. Just 500, limit 1 per customer. 99¢ set.”

Beatles Binder
Another Beatles Binder

The 2-ring binder connected with the bubble gum company Fleer Corporation, which produced a 10″ x12″ x 4½” shipping box for their Dubble Bubble© gum sent to retailers, etc. The bubble gum container held (480) 1¢ pieces of gum and a free Beatles Binder and had the promotion listed on the box as “Deal #166.”

“I remember buying this binder in late ’64. I was seven years old at the time. I purchased it at Woolworth’s at the Interstate Shopping Center in Ramsey, NJ. I don’t remember how much, but probably $3 or $4. I used it for homework and drawings I made. I think I had it for just over a year before someone stole it from my desk during recess one day.” – Gregory Voutsas.

Beatles Binder Advert
Beatles Binder Advert

The New York Loose Leaf Corporation’s aforementioned ‘mid-1964 issue’ binders – whose advertisements came out about August 1964 – were available with two or three rings and manufactured in white. The front cover displayed a larger but less detailed black and white Beatles photo with signatures. Paul McCartney’s cigarette had been “airbrushed” out of his hand for this binder design. By mid-1964, Standard Plastic Products (SPP) most likely sub-licensed the binders to the New York Loose Leaf Corporation, and their new binder version was mass-produced through the end of 1964. The New York Loose Leaf Corporation applied for its trademark on August 14, 1962. The brand (US Registration Number 0736031) covered “paper, items made of paper, stationery items, loose-leaf books, and ledger binders.” Their trademark design was on the cover of the mid-1964 Beatles binder.

“I got my binders not long ago from a guy in Detroit who had bought a derelict factory and was liquidating it. He came across these binders in a cupboard. They were being used to hold all the previous business’s documents!” – Phil Harbour.

Discover more great stories about the Beatles memorabilia in Terry’s book:

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Strawberry Fields Forever from Magical Mystery Tour

Strawberry Fields Forever
Strawberry Fields Forever by The Beatles on Magical Mystery Tour
Strawberry Fields Forever by The Beatles on Magical Mystery Tour

“Strawberry Fields Forever” from Magical Mystery Tour

Equal time here for a critically acclaimed Beatles song, one that some critics have described as a masterpiece. “Strawberry Fields Forever,” written by John Lennon, was on the other side of the double-A-sided 45 with Paul McCartney’s “Penny Lane” when it was initially released in 1967, and then included on the Magical Mystery Tour album.  It was based on Lennon’s recollections of playing as a child on the grounds of Strawberry Fields, the Salvation Army home for children in Liverpool. 

Lennon crafted the song during the six weeks that he was on the set for a small part in Richard Lester’s film How I Won the War. With the help of LSD to give the song its psychedelic tone, Lennon referred to “Strawberry Fields” as psychoanalysis set to music, a look inside the real him, including some of his significant insecurities. For example, in David Sheff’s Lennon biography All We are Saying Lennon reflected:

John Lennon on Strawberry Fields Forever

“No one I think is in my tree.” Well, what I was trying to say in that line is “Nobody seems to be as hip as me, therefore I must be crazy or a genius.” It’s the same problem as I had when I was five: There is something wrong with me because I seem to see things other people don’t see. Am I crazy, or am I a genius?… What I’m saying, in my insecure way, is “Nobody seems to understand where I’m coming from. I seem to see things in a different way from most people.”

In the studio, some elaborate instrumentation accompanied Lennon’s introspection: all four of the Beatles played additional percussion instruments in addition to their guitars and drums, as did some Beatles assistants. Four trumpet players and three cellists contributed as well. And John Lennon and Paul McCartney each played a mellotron, a keyboard instrument that played tape loops and could mimic musical instruments. For this song, the mellotron’s flute sounds were accessed.

Knowing Where We Came From

“Strawberry Fields” began and ended with the mellotron and was dreamy/avant-garde/psychedelic in tone, with a false ending followed seconds later by cacophonous swirly-sounding mellotron, trumpet, and snare.  John said this was one of the favorite songs that he wrote.

Knowing where we came from – and where we’re going, together – is worthwhile.  Be smart, be safe, be well.

Tim Hatfield

Get Tim’s great book looking at the meanings behind Beatles songs:

httpss://www.youtube.com/watch?v=10LSq_J5ol4
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9 DECEMBER 1961 THE BEATLES DISASTROUS FIRST EVER “LONDON” GIG IN ALDERSHOT

The Beatles in Aldershot
The Beatles in Aldershot

The Beatles played in Aldershot on 9th December 1961. Tony Broadbent takes a look at the momentous day that would end Sam Leach’s hopes of becoming Beatles manager, and convince John, Paul, George and Pete that Brian Epstein was the right man for the job.

THE PALAIS BALLROOM, ALDERSHOT

SAM LEACH thought quick and hard. When in doubt do something, anything. “I tell you what lads, never say die, we’ll drive round the town, pin up posters on every hoarding or telegraph pole we see. That done, we’ll drop off your instruments and equipment at the Palais Ballroom, then I’ll take everyone for a quick bite to eat at the little cafe opposite. How’s that sound?”

For once, The Beatles were stone cold silent.

After grabbing something to eat, they all split up and scoured the town for prospective punters. Handing out handbills to everyone they met. They visited every pub and coffee bar and dropped word about the fabulous group playing that night, at the Palais. But the good people of Aldershot weren’t interested, even when, in utter desperation, Sam played his final card and told any and every one that’d listen that admission was free.

“Aldershot’s not ready for rock ‘n’ roll or The Beatles,” Sam said, dejectedly, lighting up another cigarette.

“Aldershot’s so crap, they’re not even ready for inside bloody toilets,” snapped John. “But as we’re already bloody here, let’s all just sod off down to Soho, in London, and get ourselves royally pissed.”

“Hey, come on, John,” pleaded Paul. “We’ve got to give it a try, even if we only play for five minutes. Eh, oop, kid, what do you say?”

“No, they can all go and get buggered…the dozy sods.”

Paul McCartney Started to Sing

Paul put his head on one side and started to sing ‘There’s no business like show business’. He smiled inanely and waved his hands in the air as if they were tambourines. “Hey, come on, John.” He kicked a foot out like a Kentucky minstrel and started prancing up the street. “Hey, Johnny, you know the show’s always gotta go on.”

“Ah, sod it,” snapped John. “Where the fook are we going to, fellas?”

“To the top, Johnny,” they all chorused back.

“And which fookin’ top is that, fellas?”

“To the top of the fookin’ poppermost, Johnny,” they all yelled.

“Okay, fellow Beatles, we fookin’ well play. The show goes on.”

Everyone cheered then, even Dave, Sam’s driver.

Sam Opened The Doors and……..

Sam opened the doors of the Palais Ballroom at half-past seven on the dot, as advertised, but the only thing he was met with was a face-full of swirling snowflakes. He closed the door quickly. “God’s holy trousers, whatever did I do in my past life to deserve this?” He shook his head. “No business, like no business? Sod that, let’s have a ball, anyway.” He sauntered into the ballroom. “They’ll all be along in a minute, lads, so why don’t you get started. Just think of it being like your early days in Hamburg. You know, those times you told me about, when it was the sound of your music alone that had to grab the punters by the scruff of the neck and drag ‘em in, off the street. What was it called, now? The Punjabi?”

“No!” The Beatles all shouted back. “The fookin’ Indra.”

“That’s what I meant,” said Sam. “Do some fookin’ Indra. If anything will bring the buggers in, it’ll be a bit of that.”

“Yeah,” sniffed George. “Mach some more bloody schau.”

Mach schau! Mach schau!” yelled John into the microphone.

Pete, Count us in!

“Okay,” shouted Paul, vamping a run of notes on his bass. “Pete, count us in.” Pete hit his sticks together. Tik-a-Tik-a-Tik-a-Tik-a. Paul hit a single bass note and launched straight into ‘Long Tall Sally’. That done, fully energised by the music, The Beatles shot themselves full of rhythm-and-blues and ripped it up and rocked it up for three finger-blistering, pick-scraping hours. They pounded out the beat as if they were playing ‘the Tower’ in front of four thousand screaming fans, not the eighteen or so people dancing and jiving at the Palais Ballroom. And Sam, Terry, Spike, and the van driver, Dave, could do nothing but lose themselves in the magic of it all. Swinging and swaying, clapping their hands, popping their fingers, and tapping their feet to the relentless rockin’ Mersey beat.

Money

And then with John’s final scream that all he ever wanted from life was ‘Money’, The Beatles rolled up the night with one last long chiming chord. Everyone clapped and cheered, jumped up and down, and shouted for more. And all four Beatles up on the stage, their hearts thumping in their chests, sweat pouring from them, looked out from under the spell they’d just cast and saw that as tiny as the crowd was, the cry for more was as urgent and as heartfelt as any audience they’d ever played to.

John sighed and nodded at Paul. Paul nodded at George. Paul, his voice hoarse, whispered, “Roll Over Beethoven.” John, George and Pete each nodded back. George picked out the opening notes of the Chuck Berry rocker, each note as sharp and bright as the glass in the mirror ball hanging from the ceiling. The girls spun. The boys jived. And The Beatles rocked it, two by two, for ten glorious minutes and everyone dug to the rhythm-and-blues until ‘Liverpool’s Number One Rock Outfit’ brought their first rocking visit to the south to a close.

Roll over Aldershot and go tell London the news.

Sam stood at the foot of the stage, beaming. “That, fellas, was bloody marvellous. You did yourselves and all of Liverpool proud. So, what say, we celebrate? I’ve asked the local judies if they’d like to stay on for a bit and, believe it or not, they all said yes. I wonder why? So I had our Spike go and get in two crates of Watneys Brown Ale and a box of Smith’s crisps from the pub over the road. So, if you’re up for it, like, I’ll go crank up the record player, put on a swinging platter or two, and we can all have ourselves a proper party.”

John didn’t bother looking at Paul or George. He already had his eye fixed on something blonde standing in the middle of the dance floor. “Oooh, yes, please, Mr Sam, I could do with a bit o’ hanky-panky about now. I need to exercise me evil ways.”

Dancing with The Girls

They all took turns dancing with the girls, everyone doing their version of The Twist. John, impatient for his next turn at dancing waltzed with George, then Paul. Pete sat that one out. They played ‘Bingo’ using beer bottle-tops as counters. Played football with Ping-Pong balls. The rest of the time they just played the fool. John, his back hunched, his face distorted, staggering around the ballroom yelling, “The bells. The bells. It’s the bells.”

Sam handed Spike a camera. “Here, Spike, take some more photographs. I want to remember this. They’re certifiable, the lot of them.”

“Yeah,” said Spike, “certifiably brilliant.”

There was a sudden loud hammering on the front door.

“Come on in, if you’re coming,” shouted Paul.

“Bugger off!” yelled John.

Police!

Terry went to investigate and quickly reappeared, his arms waving from side to side, in a frenzied hand-jive.  He snatched the needle arm from off the turntable, spun round, and mouthed the word, “Police.”

The effect was instantaneous. John began giggling and was soon doubled up with laughter. Paul sniggered. George grinned. Pete bit his lip. Sam, madly signalling for quiet, bounced his hands up and down in front of him as if trying to push the sound to the floor, but it did no good, the giggling and laughter just grew louder, as did the knocking.

Sam sighed, burped, belched; went to deal with ‘the bizzies’.

“What the bloody hell do you think you’re doing?” yelled an authoritative voice. “Do you know what bloody time, it is?”

Sam peered out into the gloom. In the pale yellow light of the street lamps were four police vans, two police motorbikes, a mounted policeman, and a very big, sour-faced police sergeant.

“Er, um, we were just finishing, like, constable.”

“And about bloody time, too. It’s gone bloody midnight. And you lot are creating a very serious disturbance of the peace.”

Sam blinked and blinked and tried desperately to sober up. “Er, we, er, were just going, officer.”

Get Out of Aldershot!

“Now, wouldn’t be soon enough,” barked the police sergeant. “You bloody shower have got fifteen minutes to get out of Aldershot, do you hear me? On yer bikes, the lot of you, and don’t you ever come back.”

“You and Aldershot can fook off, too,” George muttered under his breath. “Never would be far too soon for us ever to come back here.”

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